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Rethinking Sexuality in a New Age
Recently the life of golfing professional Tiger Woods has been under intense scrutiny by the media due to his confessed infidelity. Since he made the announcement that he would be taking a leave of absence from the game to work on being a better father and husband, a number of companies have also withdrawn their sponsorship. Although there is a level of sexual behavior that I personally find appropriate and a level that I personally find a inappropriate, the question that comes to mind is why is it such a big news story?
Unfortunately, the answer is clear. Although we have advanced in terms of freedom in many ways as a society, when it comes to sexuality and freedoms associated with sexual behavior, there is a still a significant level of socialized oppression. This is rather unfortunate considering the plethora of evidence, which suggests that we have digressed in this area in relation to our ancestors.
Civilizations of the Eastern World that we know to include peoples of Asia, the Pacific Islands, and those that inhabit the island nations of the Indian Ocean all have histories that embraced the sexuality of humanity as a healthy part of our connection with the planet and the cosmos. In these ancient societies, as in the indigenous societies of Africa and the Americas too, sexual behavior was seen as much more than a utility for procreation but as a path of ritual expression or an avenue to the divine nature as well.
As I have taught Human Sexuality these last two semesters, I am reminded that unfortunately the Western World’s passion for control, primarily through the agent of religion, has subjugated this natural part of our being to a dirty profane self-indulgence that has no redeeming qualities. Michael Foucault argues that the 17th Century is the major era of sexual subjugation. He claims that during this time “modern prudishness was able to ensure that one did not speak of sex, merely through the interplay of prohibitions that referred back to one another: instances of muteness which, by din of saying nothing, imposed silence. Censorship.”
But Albert Kinsey showed us sex is not something to be censored because it occurs as naturally as any other human social behavior. In fact, Kent State anthropologist Dr. C. Owen Lovejoy argued decades ago that human pairing behaviors and hence sexual behaviors including mating rituals are as old as bipedalism itself. A recent story from Reuters offers video of Greek and Roman artifacts, which reveal attitudes towards sexual behavior that were extremely uninhibited.
Like the Greeks and Romans, the ancient Hindus also involved love and sex in all aspects of their being as both were believed to be bestowed upon them by the gods. This is reflected in the the sensuous treatise of the Kama Sutra, which is an integral part of a larger collection of ancient Indian texts originally religious in essence called the Kama Shastra or Discipline of Kama, the Hindu god of love. This book about the human sensual essence expressed through sexual behavior ascribes to Hindu religious faith and tradition.
The point being made by much of this evidence is that separation of sexuality from the sacred and the elevation of it to abhorrence was the doing of the Western World in the medieval era as a way to develop power, control, and possession. As Kinsey noted, “The emotional illness which sends the sexually aberrant person to find psychiatric help is the result of no flaw in the psyche itself that is connected with the aberrancy but is the result only of the fear of social disapproval of his sexual conduct…many men (and women although Kinsey didn’t mention them) who are well adjusted socially and who yet break, among them, all the sexual taboos.”
However, it appears that the New Age is bringing a renaissance of mind that is resulting once again in the consciousness that sexuality is not an expression of sin, or to be without the divine, as has been depicted by the idea of the fallen Eve but may instead be another avenue to express our divine nature that is reflected in love for another human as depicted by Mary, Mother of God. Signs of this can be seen in the willingness of our new social conscious to see love as something that transcends gender roles or sex labels. This is exemplified by expressions such as ABC’s willingness to air the first ever gay sex scene on daytime TV.
Hooray for the housewives who have freed themselves from being the horny desperate hostesses that they are too often portrayed as during prime time.
In a recent conversation I noted that it will be a great day when people are just as equally able to accept a gift of sexual contact from an intimate relation as they are able to accept a gift of a gourmet meal from an intimate friend who is a chef.
Who and what was referenced in this post?
The Tiger Woods scandal: How much do the media really need to know? by Patrick Goldstein
A CNN i-Report: Sponsors Drop Tiger Woods netvetted from Marjaani< /br>
MichaelFocault.com
A Photo Tour of Albert Kinsey from the Kinsey Institute
C. Owen Lovejoy’s Web Page at the Kent State University Anthropology Department
The Free Online Kama Sutra (Warning: Adult Content)
An Explanation of the Kama Shastra from Urday.com
Video Excerpts of the Gay Sex Scene from One Life to Live (PG material) at the Huffington Post
16 to “Rethinking Sexuality in a New Age”
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"Infidelity" only exist because society has created this notion that one must be monogamous when married, or in a relationship, for that matter. Society has created an outline of how everyone should live their life. Unfortunately, many are persuaded and live lifestyles accordingly, because they don't want to go against the norm. As far as sexual orientation goes, homosexuality is frowned upon more with males than women. Personally, I'm all for diversity and freedom of sexual lifestyle. Being "different" from the norm is not a defect, and I wish that our society was more open and accepting to diverse lifestyles. If one chooses to be polyamorous it shouldn't affect their reputation. I know many who live a certain lifestyle to "fit in" and they're trully unhappy. There is media that encourages everyone to be themselves, but how can one be who they truly are when they live in fear of being judged, labeled, and rejected?
You are so very correct when you say that many live lives to "fit in" rather than be happy. So the question that comes out of your comment is how much of the population would be happier if they didn't live their lives based on social norms but deliberately went against them to experience what is told to them is taboo? Would then people still not be happy because they are missing out on what they would receive by adhering to the social structure? Interesting yes?
Tiger Woods is such a big news story because his infedelity has been feeding the media. The media loves to see good reputaions go bad. I personally do not care what Tiger Woods does in his personal life, i do not think it was right of this to cheat on his wife, but it does not effect me or anyone else in any way. I do not think he should have lost his sponsorships either becasue his work should not be judged on his personal life. Some say Tiger Woods has a sex addiction problem, but if he doesnt than he should have made an agreement with his wife to be polyamorous, or he should have divorced her before he cheated. Kinsey believs sex should not be censored. But in our society if it is not censored or kept private, it will cause chaos.
Even with polyamorous agreements, the media still latches on to anything that questions a reputation. Sponsors can also still revoke their relationship with a celeb even if it has is something that is agreed to. For example, Angela Jolie was just removed from a project because her star power was overshadowing the project. Who knew a celeb's positive status could effect the sales of a product negatively?
I agree with Ruben and Latasha. The issue of Tiger Woods and the reason for why America is in such an out roar over it is because the social norm is that every American family is a catholic or christian religion and that polygamy is unaccepted throughout the U.S. As one society, everyone tends to go along with that, and there needs to be less labeling people and things and more accepting that not everyone is the same. When is comes to the sexual behaviors of people in the U.S, people are afraid to admit their preferences because of the Attribution theory. Society needs to stop with the labeling of others because they do not have the same norms, values, beliefs, morals or mores.
"Fear is the mind killer!" I remember that from Dune. But it is also the relationship killer. We all clearly fear being labeled by our self and by others in a negative way and that is often the motivation for our behaviors whether they ultimately benefit us or not. Conformity is the manifestation of acting out of fear of being labeled a part of the "out-group".
I definately agree with this our society is so caught up on Tigers infidelity and many others as if he commited a serious crime. He only has to answer to himself and and his wife our society. The problem is that we do censor sexuality so much that we are not ignorant to alot of things. We fear what we do not understand..therefore many fear sexuality without truly understanding it. If more people understood sexuality maybe there would be less ahte crimes against people of a certain sexuality that is not considered the norm and maybe even understand tigers situation
Ignorance influences a lot in our society and I concur that hate crimes are also on that list. If people woke up to the fact that the sexuality of their neighbor is developed from the same processes as their own, they might be able to be more accepting.
My thoughts of the Tiger Woods scandal are the same they have been blown way out of proportion, why is it a big deal? i think society today take people like Tiger (stars) and places them on a pedestal, then they define who the person is through what they see in the media. So in today's society people felt like they knew tiger woods, and they never thought he would do such an act based on that image they built of him.Proving that the person portrayed in the media is often not the real person that we believe to be. We are all just human beings and make mistakes and Tiger is no exception. What troubles me the most is how the media is bombarded with Tigers Scandal, but never have i seen a show about Tiger's Charity works. How he funds his own foundation out of pocket to take kids away from the ghetto and the street life and places them in schools ensuring they have a better life tomorrow. Was that ever announced by the mass media? Another thought that comes to mind that is very common in today's society is, the fact that when people enter a relationship we are possessed by our partner. Ex. If i am a male in a relationship, my partner expects me not to look at any other females because i am only to be attracted to her, so according to her the day i became her partner every other woman in the world became ugly to me and i am not allowed to look. That is a huge misconception in our society today. Of course there are sexy ladies out there and i am going to be attracted to them. Tiger is an example he is married and finds other women attractive, it's okay.
Unfortunately sex sells and charity doesn't in our society. But the question becomes, if people had realistic expectations about their own and their partner's attractions to others after they were married, would that be the case? Because the media has such an influence on how we see and understand people, I am not so sure that a way for sex to continue to sell would not still be fashioned by the media in some way, shape, or form.
Unfortunately the media influences the way society is viewed, when in fact it is one of Gods most precious gift to the human race. It's nice that my wife and I after 25 yrs of marriage are still attracted to eachother, and when we see attractive people it really doesn't anger either one of us because our bond is strong and our love is true and we are confortable in our relationship.
I believe so much attention has been paid to Tiger Woods current situation, because in American society it is not seen as socially acceptable to have many relationships or in his case cheat on your wife. Perhaps if he and his wife had talked about the situation and argreed that it was okay for him to be polygamous. Even if this was the case I feel he would still recieve a lot of attention, because polyamory isn't necessarly characterized as a social norm.
Communication is often cited as one of the major issues for divorce and marital problems. Talking is one thing that surprisingly happens less in relationships than you would think. According to an online article about the top 10 reasons for divorce, Alison Bradbury claims that boredom is as well. So you might be on to something in terms of married people and sexual partners not talking about what they need to to help each understand what the other needs to keep them from being bored.
Particularly when dealing with each other in relation to sex and the social roles we all play in life. Humanity needs to except the "gift of sexual contact" just as Dr. Hewlett states in the last paragraph. We must all take the time and remember and educate ourselves on what the past has showed us. In relation to not only sexuality but spirtuality and that we all are connected to one cause and being. Take what religion has to teach and expaned on it; there is much more to what meets the eye. I know for me recently I find myself talking more openly about sexuality and letting friends know that its alright to talk about it and not be ashamed or embrassed. It's like a close friend told me before he passed away in Iraq. "Dont sweat the petty sh*t, pet the sweaty sh*t." At first I didnt understand completely but it relates to everything in life even sexuality.
Ruben offer some very interesting insight into humanity's natural state of categorization. You also make a good point of noting that our non-acceptance as a species also is relative to how we categorize. In other words our sweating of the petty sh*t is a result of our believe that those things are important and we constantly show they are by the consequences they produces such as the loss of support that Tiger received.
I agree with this document which pertains to Sexuality. Society needs to become less ignorant and take the opportunity to except sexual behavior, and how you express yourself subjectively. When mankind ceases their ideals on what society wants them to believe; then will humanity stop categorizing themselves in groups of racial, sexual and economic status. The sexuality of each other and ourselves should be embraced and looked upon as a natural part of our body, soul, mind and even spirit. Sexuality is not what society wants you to believe and isn't profane, nor is it fallacious to bring it up and conversate about it.